Its time for the Sunday Parenting Party. Please link up any and all parenting posts (old and new, heart felt or off the cuff, we love tips and tricks, anecdotes of good days and bad, and even birth stories. Please don't link Kids activities and crafts, these can be linked to the Kids Co-op. Thanks
This week I am linking:
Odd one out
When it comes to philosophies I tend to do things by halves. I am not the kind of person that buys into any philosophy hook, line and sinker. I don't tend to find one that I can live, sleep and breath unquestioningly. I'm more of a 'take a bit here and take a bit there', I build what works for me and mine.
As a result I tend not to "fit in". I can't package myself in a neat way that helps others label me. This sometimes makes me feel like an impostor among those who take on more of a philosophy than I do.
Am I 'Attachment Parenting' - probably not. I don't feel I can describe myself as such because despite liking the aims and intentions I don't really live the philosophy. I'm a strong supporter of breastfeeding but I stopped at 7 month when I went back to work. I don't believe co-sleeping is safe so we never did it. I do baby wear but we also used a buggy a lot. I believe that if a baby is crying they want or need something and leaving them to cry is not the solution - however that said we did "train" Goblin to sleep through the night with a week of leaving him to cry and self settle.
Am I 'Positive Parenting' - I feel this is probably the best way to describe the style of parenting I want to emulate. But I have seen people actively doing Positive Parenting and they are amazingly calm and positive and caring people. I feel like a fraud because while I aspire to positive parenting my volatile temperament often leaves me yelling at Goblin rather than calmly discussing an issue. And all too often the choices I give Goblin are probably more of a threat - "You can get dressed or you can sit here until you are ready to get dressed" - hmmm!
Am I 'Natural Parenting' - No. Its the food that lets me down here (and the plastic toys). I have never restricted Goblin's salt and sugar intake. I no I am a pain in the behind to some of my friends who are trying to raise kids not to eat sweets and biscuits. And there I am giving Goblin Jammy Dodgers and cocktail sausages. But I don't want Goblin to grow up with food issues. At the moment he'll eat pretty much anything. And he doesn't differentiate between cucumber and chocolate. He likes both and he'll take which ever is on offer at the time. I don't want to start making food an issue by saying you can have this but you can never have that. So instead I try and moderate the things that are worse for him without telling him I'm doing it.
I can't even claim to be entirely Montessori or entirely Steiner/Waldorf. I take bits of both and try and build them into what works for us.
So I tend to feel like an odd beast. Not fitting comfortably into any niche. I have to find my own path and I'm constantly questioning, checking and reviewing what I'm doing. It feels lonely It feels like everyone else has found their way and I am still thrashing around in the bushes.
But maybe I am not alone. Maybe actually we are all laminate flooring, thinking that each other are genuine wood floorboards. Or is that just wishful thinking?