The International Language of Play

(Goblin is 4 years old)

This weekend we met up with my University friends. They are a collection of Eurochums from Britain, France, Germany, Italy and Belgium. We have tried to meet up on an annual basis but with babies, bad weather, financial crisis and the rest we haven't actually all managed to be together for some time. So I was terribly excited that we finally got the gang together in Yorkshire. 

Over the years our breeders have produced two German children, two French, two Belgians and one British kiddo.  This was the first time since Goblin could talk that he had met any of them, and I wasn't sure how it would pan out what with him not speaking their languages and them not speaking his.

But I needn't have worried. The children played as if they all spoke the same language. Goblin just chatted to his new friends in English and they jabbered back in their respective language.
When that didn't work they smiled or pointed or gave each other one of their toys to play with so they could join a game.

My friend who was hosting us all remarked to her five year old neighbour

"Isn't it amazing that they play together when they don't speak the same language"

"Not really" said the five year old "Jumping means Hello"

Out of the mouths of babes comes the truth 

Play is an international language 

What am I worried about?

This post was written as a contribution to the Boys vs. Girls Blog Carnival.  The participating bloggers are sharing their experiences, ideas, and opinions on why gender roles should be avoided in parenting and teaching practices.

(Goblin is 40 months)

Here is a picture of two three year old children. Unless you are a regular reader of the blog you'd probably assume both kids were girls. In fact, as many of you will know, the one in the orange t-shirt is a boy, my son the Goblin. 

The other day Goblin came home from nursery and told me he didn't want to be a boy anymore, he wanted to be a girl. I took my time to consider this. Was this my fault? Had my occasional failure to correct a stranger who called him a "pretty girl" led him to believe he ought to be one? Maybe my colleagues, who joked that not cutting my son's hair would send him to therapy as an adult, were right after all. 

I asked him: 

"What do you think the difference is between a boy and a girl?"

My son replied that girls have trolleys - obviously some random association from nursery. 

Hublet and I looked at each other, stifled a smile and assured Goblin that if he wanted a trolley we'd find one for him. So his gender dilema was solved and Goblin went to bed satisfied with being a boy.

But why had I been worried?

I bought my son some gloves at the weekend. They had two pairs for £1.50 but the only colours they had were pink. I felt guilty buying them. I looked around the rest of the shop to see if there were other colours hiding out but the pink ones were the only ones left.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!

Why did I feel the need to do that? My son is three. He thinks the difference between a girl and boy is that a girl gets to play with trolleys. He quite likes the colour pink and certainly wouldn't object to putting pink gloves on if his hands were cold. So why did I feel the need to double check before settling on the only gloves in the shop. And why, would I have paid more money to get some gloves in a different colour if they'd had them?

In the Fifteenth Century all infants were dressed the same, in little woollen kirtles (dresses). They were gender neutral. My child is gender neural. Yes he exhibits some traits commonly associated with boys - like his love of cars and inability to sit still. But right now he doesn't need to be forced into a gender stereotype, either by me or anyone else. What he needs is a world of possibilities where he can choose  his own likes and dislikes, and pick his own paths. 

He showed me today how ridiculous my dilema over the gloves had been. I got home to find he'd been shopping with Hublet. And sitting on the table in the living room was a new toy he'd chosen. It was a bright pink My Little Pony. My son is picking his own path through the world. I need to stop worrying about it, and let him grow and develop in his own way. 

Look here to read submissions by the other carnival bloggers

Gender Cliches Debunked
Andie Jaye of Crayon Freckles is a momma to a preschool boy and teen girl, looks at cliches held about genders and offers an alternate view to them. 

Parenting and Gender Biases

Maggy, mum of a boy (5) and girl (3) discusses on Life At The Zoo her observations about how each of her children do have many characteristics associated with their gender. However stresses that children should be given equal opportunities to explore, play and discover and is frequently surprised by each child really enjoys non gender specific activities – this is particularly noticeable during the arts and crafts activities they do over on Red Ted Art.

What Am I Worried About?

The Monko at Taming the Goblin asks "What is the difference between girls and boys at the age of three? And why do we care?"

5 Tips on Fighting Gender Stereotypes and Raising Empowered Children

Brittany from Love, Play, Learn shares how to help your child grow up happy and emotionally well adjusted by cutting through gender stereotypes and bias in children’s toys, media, and society. She shares easy and practical tips and ideas for raising happy and confident girls and boys.

Boys, Barbies, and Broken Necks
Erin from Royal Baloo writes on why ignoring gender stereotypes will give your child a leg up.

Gender Stereotypes in Society
Gender stereotypes are everywhere, among friends, colleagues, at stores and pretty much anywhere else in life. Alex, from Glittering Muffins and father to Nico {an energetic three and a half year old} looks at how difficult it can be to keep an open mind. 

Christmas in Egypt

As part of the Christmas Around The World series being hosted by Living Life Intentionally Goblin and I decided to explore Christmas in Egypt.

(Goblin is 38 months)

We discovered that Egyptian Christians don't celebrate Christmas on the 25th December. Christians in Egypt make up about 15% of the population and are part of the Coptic Church who celebrate Christmas on 7th January. Advent in Egypt is a 40 day fast which ends on Christmas eve with a church service that runs until midnight. Everyone wears a new outfit for the service. At the church a special bread is eaten for communion. It is called Qurban (which means sacrifice). 

We thought we'd try making some Qurban. The recipe really appealed to me because its so simple. However there is a Warning - this recipe takes about 5 hours (with all the rising stuff) so don't start just before bed time like I did! 
You'll need:
2 tsp yeast

3 cups flour

1/4 cup sugar

2 tbls salted, softened butter

1 tbls orange blossom water (or if you can't find that 1 tsp of orange essence will do)

Warm water

Goblin mixed the yeast with a third of a cup of warm water - Kitty supervised!

Then he poured the flour and sugar into a bowl and rubbed in the butter. 

 He added the orange essence and the yeast and an additional half cup of warm water and gave it all a stir. Then he attempted to knead the dough.

Hublet took the remaining dough that wasn't all over Goblin's trousers and gave it an additional knead on a floured chopping board. Then we covered the dough ball with the plastic bowl and left it for 15 minutes.

After 15 mins Hublet kneaded it again, rolled it into a ball, wrapped it in plastic and left it for one hour. After an hour he folded the dough and left it for another hour. By this time Goblin had gone to bed.

I took the dough and chopped it into 6 and made balls. We covered these with plastic and left them for 15 minutes. Then I rolled each ball out into a pancake and popped them on a floured baking tray and covered them with a wet cloth for an hour.

After removing the wet cloths I sprinkled the tops of the circles with flour and carved christmas designs into the top. Apparently the Egyptian Christians carve a cross. As we aren't a religious family we went with Christmas trees and stars. The bread needs to be cooked in the oven at 200C/400F/Gas mark 6 for 20 minutes.

I have to say it tastes delicious and the orange essence really gives it a Christmassy taste - So Goblin and I have discovered that Christmas in Egypt is DELICIOUS!

On a serious note since the downfall of the Mubarak regime there have been increasing reports of violence against the Christian minority in Egypt. This January (2012) in the true Christmas spirit many Muslims came out to protect the churches while their Christian neighbours celebrated the festival. This is a good time to remember that not everyone has the freedom to celebrate without fear in the way they choose.

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