(Goblin is 4 years old)
Do you ever wish that other people could see your child the way that you see your child?
I've been feeling quite judged recently. It is probably less things people have actually said/done and more just because I'm feeling vulnerable and paranoid.
We have had a few less than successful playdates recently, and this coupled with some 'crappy' feedback from Goblin's nursery has made me feel like Hublet and I are the only people who like or get our son.
I can't stop feeling that people see him as abnormal because he is so much more energetic and impulsive than a lot of the kids he hangs round with. I found myself Googling the symptoms of ADHD the other day. Its not the first time I've done it, but I do question why I was doing it. What brought it on this time?
I don't believe that Goblin has ADHD, if you read the symptoms he doesn't have all of them. Sure he has some of them, but what 4 year old boy doesn't?
I believe that a lot of my parenting friends think he has ADHD or some other behavioural issue, rather than just being exuberant and enthusiastic. And the trouble is he isn't really helping me out on this one at the moment. You see people call a child exuberant and enthusiastic when they are happy and kind and jolly. But recently Goblin's play with other kids has quite often reflected his general attitude of defiance and conflict - which does make him look more like a 'troubled child' than a child with excess energy.
And because of his age I think recently my fear has shifted from people thinking I'm a bad parent (which while irritating, I can handle - thats on me), to people thinking my son is a bad kid. And I hate that, because he's not. And I don't want to change him and control him to make him into something acceptable to the "children should be seen and not heard" brigade. But I do worry.
Why do I care what other people think? Because I want my son to be happy, and I want him to have friends. And he does have friends, other kids seem to like him, its the adults I'm worried about. I don't want him to be the kid that doesn't get invited on playdates because the parents don't want their child picking up bad habits. But I don't want him to compromise his big personality to get that.
How do I hit that balance? Surely he can have his cake and eat it?
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