tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post7833978608092774037..comments2023-09-21T12:36:46.064+01:00Comments on Taming the Goblin: Owning your boundaries.The Monkohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015980234917286789noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-30602626470284869202012-10-08T01:30:18.869+01:002012-10-08T01:30:18.869+01:00Hmmm, let me see! My son is eight so it's been...Hmmm, let me see! My son is eight so it's been a while! I had to use consequences, and stick by them. If I said it... I had to mean it... and my son-when-he-was-a-toddler always had to test it. If I said, "JJ if you throw your glasses we are leaving the park." He throws his $300 glasses ($200 for the shatter-proof lenses and $100 for the baby-safe frames) and we leave the park. Phew! Now that he's eight he listens to me 99% of the time! Lisa Nolanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14250738745005286723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-80667817808144005612012-07-13T23:12:07.380+01:002012-07-13T23:12:07.380+01:00I am definitely guilty of this one. I always start...I am definitely guilty of this one. I always start by owning the rule and explaining why it is a rule. I really am good about that. But when all else fails and they still aren't listening to me, I definitely call in the 'big guns' - the strangers in power (park ranger, lifeguard, etc.) will get upset. That always scares them into following the rule because there is nothing they hate more than getting in trouble from strangers! But you're right, it's totally lame of me to do it! Will try to do better :-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06133828767254902028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-47797960583972003332012-06-21T20:57:34.717+01:002012-06-21T20:57:34.717+01:00Oh please don;t think for one minute that just bec...Oh please don;t think for one minute that just because I write about means I always practice what I preach. I'm with you, I agree with the principle but sometimes putting it into practice is really hard and I forgetThe Monkohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02015980234917286789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-85733585503741455942012-06-21T20:56:13.885+01:002012-06-21T20:56:13.885+01:00Definitely agree that where possible diversion is ...Definitely agree that where possible diversion is easier and more positive.The Monkohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02015980234917286789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-42957455445325123102012-06-21T20:55:39.039+01:002012-06-21T20:55:39.039+01:00Yeah if there is an external rule that you don'...Yeah if there is an external rule that you don't understand but have to follow anyway then its not your boundary to own. So I'd be with you in saying, "Don't know why thats the rule but it is so we better follow it".The Monkohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02015980234917286789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-80274713968864054112012-06-21T16:01:27.688+01:002012-06-21T16:01:27.688+01:00I do always try to be honest about boundaries, but...I do always try to be honest about boundaries, but I have found myself using excuses sometimes instead, mainly to escape feeling like 'nagging mum'. My 4 yr old is fine with explanations but my 2 yr old less so, and now we have another little one who's not yet 3 months, it's often whatever is easiest to explain! <br /><br />I agree with you, though, in principle, I do believe it's fundamental that you tell your kids the truth as much as possible. Thanks for posting this, it's reminded me to pay attention to not fall into lazy parenting!Chloe gricehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07086336486986946599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-24635155432034961652012-06-21T00:36:51.548+01:002012-06-21T00:36:51.548+01:00We are just entering this phase! My aim is to set...We are just entering this phase! My aim is to set boundaries, be truthful but if possible to try to offer a postive option. I know it'll be a challenge some days. <br />Today my daughter (17mths) thought it would be a good idea to throw/cover the dog with leaves/dirt. I did the simple explanation about why that isn't a kind thing to do and then showed her a stone that it would be fine to cover. It took her a little time to process and then she quite happily redirected the dirt.crafty elsiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17733256756301833064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-25672904951270262052012-06-20T20:18:04.585+01:002012-06-20T20:18:04.585+01:00I'm an explainer. I probably give WAY too much...I'm an explainer. I probably give WAY too much information about proper behavior. I definitely own them! However, if there is a rule in place I don't understand, I'll say that too. I DON'T know everything, gasp, and think it's ok that my child knows it. Since I work at the library, I hear a lot of parent's using "the Librarian" as the baddie. In this case, it is probably true though, I have the the authority to ban anyone from the library.Mrs. Darlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02805633032663726843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-14703568289396222812012-06-20T15:53:09.499+01:002012-06-20T15:53:09.499+01:00yep and it fits much better with the idea that you...yep and it fits much better with the idea that you are helping a child to develop the mental capacity to make good decisions for themselvesThe Monkohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02015980234917286789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4437312531314961361.post-188373740048645392012-06-20T13:34:12.160+01:002012-06-20T13:34:12.160+01:00What a great point! I've always felt if you a...What a great point! I've always felt if you aren't honest or explain why, a child will not understand instead of temporarily stopping them because of a threat!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14879184684824853770noreply@blogger.com